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the contemplative diva

~ #livethegray

the contemplative diva

Tag Archives: #prayer

Here now – the difficult art of being still (part 1)

25 Monday Mar 2019

Posted by thecontemplativediva in #prayer, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#centeringprayer, #christianmeditation, #contemplative, #contemplativediva, #contemplativelife, #contemplativeoutreach, #excavateyoursoul, #innerwork, #jamesfinley, #meditation, #practice, #prayer, #solitude, #soulcarela, #spirituality, #spiritualjourney, #stillness, #wisdomforthetrenches

Week three here now in Mexico and feeling like I actually just arrived.

Last week was messy!  All about coming to terms with how far I’d wandered away from the contemplative path that has grounded me spiritually for the last decade or so. And in that process of necessary confrontational love and honesty, I had to accept how crucial it is to my actual creative goals here to first restore and reestablish my spiritual practice of contemplative meditation.

Before I can DO, I must BE.

It was jarring (to say the least) for me to confront how uncomfortable I was feeling being here with no one I know and nothing to do. I’m what most people would consider an extremely chill person who is completely comfortable spending time alone. I don’t strive to be busy and I am not at all impressed by people who always feel the need to be doing something. I do not bore easily. I do not need to be out and about a lot. I do not see the sun out and think, “Oh my gosh. What a beautiful day, I need to get out and enjoy it.” Nope. Not me. I am not outdoorsy. I’m indoorsy. And I’ve been this way since I was a child.

So then, you could imagine the discomfort I was experiencing in coming to terms with how badly I was lying to myself about myself :/  But it’s not easy to hide from yourself in the powerful light of a full moon 😉  …and in this waxing and waning fullness, I came to acknowledge a truth that I’d been conveniently avoiding in LA – that while I do spent a significant amount of time either at home or alone, I have not in fact been practicing true solitude.

There’s a difference, I have learned, between the art of solitude and the counterfeit art of ESCAPE. Solitude allows for experiences of aloneness that open us up to a greater awareness of a deep abiding Presence within us and in those around us. Escapism, on the other hand, opens us up to the darker emotions – like the pain of loneliness that can often lead to or resemble depression; or even more worrisome, avoidance and denial of emotion entirely (often manifest is various forms of addiction, -isms, and co-dependancy.)

Here now, in returning to my own practice of meditation known as Centering Prayer, I am accepting an invitation to enter into this solitude and to be met in my aloneness by this deep abiding, loving Presence. And this practice is in turn giving me an unspoken permission to resist the constant urges to go do something. (In fact, the few times I have actually left my cozy neighborhood here, I’ve been less than impressed. What the locals say about Coyoacan I am finding to be completely true. Here, I am in an oasis of peace and charm in an otherwise very hectic city that is honestly, in my opinion, both overwhelming and underwhelming at once. But I digress…)

This invitation and unspoken permission to Be Still is also crucial to my creative process because well, I am a writer and in all practicality, writing requires stillness – a lot of inactivity. Being a writer AND a contemplative, I can’t accomplish my goals, neither creative nor spiritual, by running around all day, constantly looking for someone to hang out with, or something to do or see. It’s pretty cut and dry – if I’m out being busy, I’m not doing what I really want to do which is write.

When I accepted this reality last week, and 1) shut down all of the self-imposed pressure to wake up everyday and do something or see something, and 2) cut lamenting the lack of friends I have or don’t have here, I actually found a flow and a contentment with being still and being alone. And as a result I was able to productively engage in my writing projects AND enjoy my moments of solitary wanderlusting for necessary inspiration.

Now I have a rhythm and it’s my own.  Now I accept the best part of not having anything to do, is doing whatever I want to do. When I wake up, when I get to work, when I leave my house, when I get back home…it’s all up to flow. I am free to be as still as I want to be, whenever I want to be.

HOWEVER…the one consistent, non-negotiable part of my day that I am being super intentional about is how it begins. The first thing I do when I wake up is SIT STILL. I get out of bed, I sit in a little chair in my studio, I set the timer on my Centering Prayer app for 30 minutes and I just sit there silently and practice the art of being “present, open and awake” as my teacher James Finley says.

In a later post I will share some more insight from this powerfully transformational audio teaching journey I’m on with Jim. Trying my best to keep these posts to a shorter length. And it’s about that time for my midday stroll through my barrio to find some food. But trust…Hasta pronto 😉

Namaste.

 

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You can’t rush revelation

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by thecontemplativediva in Spirituality, Uncategorized

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Tags

# revelation, #God, #meditation, #prayer, #purpose, #spiritualdirection, #stillness, #trust, #vision

 

Vision and purpose are revealed. Plans are made once you get the revelation. Being a goal-oriented, to-do-list-happy people, we often confuse the process. If anything, plans are the work we must do to live into the potential of what has been revealed; to live into the potential of who we now know we are.

I’m all for vision boards. But at a point, there’s a concrete distinction between what we identify as what we want (ie. What I put on my vision board are my ideas and I’m telling God, the universe, myself…what I want) vs. the type of vision that is revealed, the sort of vision you weren’t even thinking about, can’t even imagine. This kind of vision hadn’t even crossed your mind until it was placed there. Or, it had always been there, in your mind, but only visible to your mind’s seeing eye in a state of consciousness you hadn’t the practice to be aware of. This is the kind of vision I speak of. It’s more of a revelation. And it’s such a revelation that it often cannot even be spoken of. You can’t manifest this kind of vision. IT will manifest you.

The word revelation comes from the Latin revelare or the English, reveal. Revelare is to lay bare, it’s origin is ‘re’ + ‘velum’ ….the ‘re’ expresses a reversal, meaning again. The ‘velum’ is veil.  To reveal…is the bringing to light of something that’s gone unnoticed to you. Something that was once known, but somehow became unknown to you, is now being laid bare…uncovered. It already existed…so it’s more like a re-sharing of knowledge.  It’s now knowledge for everyone, but you’ve been chosen, selected to be privy to this information. So revelation comes like a whispered secret. It’s not shouted…it’s not Facebook messaged…it’s not casually mentioned. And you can’t force the holder of the information to tell you. It will be revealed, in their own time, when they are ready…when you are ready. But stillness, silence, and solitude (I call them the Three S’s)…they are postures for receiving revelation. This posture signals to the teller, that you are ready for the hidden facts, that you will honor these secrets.

We’re always looking for something to do. Being still is a daily challenge even for me, who is one not overly inclined to being active or busy-ness. And being still as I am of late, I do think there is some truth to the old saying, “Idle minds are the devils workshop” so I understand every word of advise and inner resistance we have to what feels like doing nothing. Yet every day, despite “warnings,” I choose to notice the gentle urging for me to remain in this quiet rest of contemplation. Maybe having an intention, to put all of this stillness and waiting in context, helps.

If you desire to know something – Who am I? What am I doing? When will it come? Where am I going? Why am I here?

Rest, my loves. Let vision come. You cannot force its hand. Let purpose be revealed. God works slow. We have to slow down. We have to slow down if we ever want to see…

 

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